Embracing Fear

That damn Oprah. I enjoy watching her show sometimes. But yesterday was interesting. In a freaky, scary, want to pull the blanket over my head kind of way. She had an open conversation with child molesters. This particular episode was with men (women are coming next week!)and she asked them candid questions about what they have done, how they chose their victims, etc... We are talking scary shit. Really.

The first couple of minutes were brutal. A very creepy old man was describing all the things he did to a five year old girl. He was so matter of fact about it and described everything so clinically, like he was talking about a hernia operation or something. It literally made me sick to my stomach and all I wanted to do was leap through the television and beat tbe crap out of him. He was caught by her mother, who walked into the room as the little girl pulled up her sweat pants and he was moving to a chair. He said it was obvious what was going on and the mother asked the child immediately. Can you imagine? I don't know what I would have done. I mean, I think I know but I hope I never have to find out.

It's funny because one of my favorite people (who happens to be my hair stylist) and I were talking about this the other day. Last week, Oprah talked about that sick feeling in your stomach. You know the one I am talking about. It's that sixth sense we all have, that intuition that something or someone is just not right. Other animals run from their predators, they trust their fear. We typically don't, out of wanting to be polite. We make our kids say hello when they don't want to. We force them to be polite. I know I am guilty of it. "M, the lady said hello to you. Please say hi." "Tell the cashier how old you are." I can't be the only one. Why do we do this?

We need to embrace our fear. Thank God (or whoever/whatever you believe or don't believe in) that we were made to feel this way. It really is a gift. In reading Protecting the Gift by Gavin De Becker, it basically dispelled the stranger danger information that I grew up with. I learned that I have been "doing it wrong". I really recommend that book to everyone. It will at least allow you to be smart about what you teach your children. That person may very well be a family friend, a teacher, a coach, a friend's parent. Look for a Mommy for help. Ever notice a kid lost in a store. Every woman within a 50 foot radius is running towards that kid or at the very least, looking around for a parent.

I will add more to this post when I watch next week's O. She will be interviewing the only woman to live at the Special Commitment Center at McNeil Island in Washington State. It made my stomach hurt to see that woman. But really, knowledge is power. Embrace the fear. Even if it does keep you up at night.